We're trying again.

I'm really bad at blogging. I'm sorry, and I'll try to be better. I'll just update you on what's been going on in the world of the Angus Fertility Journey.

Back in November, we went back to the Doctor and the Dr laid out a plan for us. He is only doing one step at a time for now. (For a reminder what happened, go back 2 entry's in this blog) So, yesterday, Valentines Day we met with the Dr. again. I was told to go back on that diet, so when I talked to the Dr. and told him I had only lost 12 lbs, I thought he's be upset, but to my surprise, he was happy for just 12 lbs, and told me to keep it up. He asked how aggressive I wanted to be with this. Hmmm.. LOL I'm pretty sure I'm aggressive to the point that I WANT TO HAVE A BABY! But there is one thing that stops us... a budget. So, we decided this would be our next step. (I hope this isn't TMI for you)

I got a shot in my behind, and that will cause me to have a period. (I haven't had a natural period on my own since September 2002) So, on day 1 of the period, I need to call the Dr, to set up an ultra sound on day 12. On day 3, I'll take a new med, that is not Clomid, but something like it. This med will tell my ovaries to ovulate. Then, I'll go to the ultrasound, and take a look at the ovaries to see if any follicles have been stimulated enough to be released. We've decided to do the ultrasound instead of Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPK) so we can actually see the results, and not get just a yes or no answer we would get from the OPK. With the results, we'll know if we can try for baby, or need to start over with the meds. Right now, I'm just waiting. I'm excited to see what my body will decide to do. I'm ready for Baby Angus to get here already!

Shutterly.com is the way to go!

Hello Bloggers! It's Christmas time - that means it is Christmas Card time. Are you making cards this year? If so, who do you use? Do you buy cards, make cards, or design them online? We've always made ours online. My husband and I have chosen Shutterfly.com to create our Christmas cards again this year, because we feel they have more cards in the style that best fit our personalities. We have chosen Shutterfly in the past because they always seem to have good deals, and saving money make me, my husband, and our bank account all very happy. In the past we've also used Shutterfly.com to make photo books. They make great gifts, but I never made photo books for gifts, I've always kept them for myself. Calendars also make great gifts. My SIL has made one for my MIL the past several years.
Every year, I try to write an annual letter to our families and friends, but instead of sending them out at Christmas time, I try to send them in July, around our anniversary. Much like yours, I'm sure, our lives get busy, and I don't have much time or motivation to write that letter. This year, we have decided to send the letter with our Christmas card, and guess what, Shutterfly has a card just PERFECT for this! I have looked at other sites, but none of their cards jumped out at me like the selection on Shutterfly.com. Take a look at the card I made by clicking here.
You don't have to just make Christmas cards. I always enjoy getting cards celebrating birthdays. We don't do this yet, but once we have kids, I'll be sure to make some birthday cards.
I hope you enjoy the card I made this year on Shutterfly, and I hope you get creative and make some of your own. You won't regret spending time on these projects, because they will be around for your children, and grandchildren to see. (My Grandma has saved some of the photocards they had made from the 70's, when my Dad was a hippie. LOL) The photobooks we have will last for years, and I bet they'll even outlast the scrapbooks I've made. Jeff and I wish you a very Merry Christmas, and we look forward to seeing your Christmas card!
p.s. After reading this blog to get Jeff's approval, he said, "That's a great Blog! It sounds like a commercial." I had to share that with you. It made me chuckle.

Long time, no Blog...

I really am still alive! I promise. I could give several reasons why I haven't been on, but that's boring. This is the straight to the point reason I am back...
I started this Blog when Jeff and I were starting out Journey with Fertility, and we took a 'break' from going to the Dr. Well, I did anyway. It's hard to admit that I have to go see a specialist for this reason. Anyway. Jeff and I went back to see the Dr. at the beginning of November. So, back to the Journey, back to the Blog. . .
Last time I went to the Dr, he told me I didn't have PCOS, but that I did have PCOS like symptoms. How does someone have the symptoms, but not the syndrome? Anyway, this Dr. said I DO have PCOS. In fact, I have some of the most cystic ovaries he's seen. Not to encouraging I might add. Looking at my labs, and ultrasound, he said we can do this, but it will take a lot of work. Yes, I was more encouraged by this statement.The Dr. said I am insulin resistant. Basically, this is the opposite of being diabetic, but just as bad, and harmful to my body. My body over produces insulin, but doesn't realize it's there, so the insulin doesn't get used. The Dr. put me on a SUPER strict diet, much like the one I was on last year. No carbs, sugars, or really, not much of anything. I am able to eat meat, and above ground veggies. Oh yum right?! This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do! I mean, I LOVE food, and I LOVE sweets! But, I have to remember this is for the better. This is so I can give my husband a child. If I am not able to do this, that would be so selfish of me. I have to do this for my health, and my family. I am also on a medication (used for diabetics) that should help my sugar (insulin) production. With this, and not eating sugar, should pretty much help right? The Dr. is having me do this diet for 3 months, and we'll be going back on Valentines Day for our next appointment. (You'd think this is a bad date for Valentines Day, but with taking the Med hours for my appointment, I will then have the evening off, and we can date... pretty smart, right?) So, I'm not sure what to expect at the next appointment, but overall, Jeff and I are pretty optimistic this time around. I'm sure, not too long from now (a couple years) we will reach our goal of becoming parents.

Life Changing Events

I am not too sure of how to add pics in the order I want. So, here is a pic first, and then my short story...
Picture was taken on Sept 26th. at Jason and Jessalyn's Wedding. I was a bridesmaid. It was a beautiful wedding.


Now, what I wrote first....

Sorry I haven't been on in a while, but honestly, I've forgotten to even log on. So much has been going on in my life these past few months. Just this week, there are 52 hours on my time sheet! So, I'm so busy at work, and always missing my hubby. This past weekend, Jeff and I went camping with some friends. Yes, it did rain, and was over cast and SO cold, but we had so much fun! We stayed warm by the fire, and inside the tent wasn't too bad either. We have a new air mattress (thank you Grandma) and added many layers of blankets and sleeping bags. We were fine! Ladder Ball is my new favorite outside game.

I would have to say the biggest news of all, is my weight loss journey. I have started a very serious, strict diet. I have VERY limited carbs, NO sugar or caffeine. Fresh veggies, only 1 serving of fruit in a day. So, I live on chicken breast and cucumbers. I drink about 5-8 bottles of water each day. I am to eat ever 2-3 hours, and sometimes that is a chore! I have to remember what exactly I eat, and the times, then I e-mail my "coach" each night with what I've eaten. He'll then give me a reply on how he thinks I'm doing... daily. I weigh myself each day, and add that to the e-mail. Since I started this Journey on Sept 1, I've lost 15 pounds. I am so excited to FINALLY lose weight. I've always wanted to do this, but never thought that I would be able to do something this drastic. I've seen it on t.v., but never thought it would be me. Now, I see my goal, and actually, believe it will happen. I want to lose weight for many reasons. I want to look good in clothes, I want to look good for my husband and family, I want to have more self confidence, but most of all, I want to be able to conceive children. I want this most of all for myself. I am so happy watching these 15 lbs come off, and hope that the next 15 lbs drop just as fast. My goal is only 32 lbs away, then I'll have a new goal, and aim for that.

I just wanted to share with you what has been my focus these past 5 1/2 weeks. I have about 4 1/2 more months left on this diet. I'll keep you posted on my success. I will not fail, I cannot fail.

Wedding

My Cousin Heather got married this past weekend. Isn't she just beautiful?!

Jeff and I just before the wedding.

The Bride and Groom coming out!

The wedding......

Our Luau

Jeff and I had our 3rd annual BBQ this past Saturday. We had so much fun with everyone who was able to attend. Here are a few pictures of the night.

This is a veiw of the party at night. I bought all the lights after christmas for 75% off! It was a great deal. I didn't even use all I had bought!

This is a view of the "kitchen". The tree is actually a cooler. We used it to put ice water in to hold all the bottles of water.

My handsome hubby getting ready to cook all the beef, pork, and chicken. They (he and dad) also grilled up some Asparagus. It was so yummy!

This picture was taken by Alethea. These were the lanterns I had gotten at a dollar store. Funny thing, Kane told me we could turn all the lights on and the batteries would last until it got dark out, but they didn't. We bought all those batteries, and they were all dead by the time it finally did get dark out. Oh well, the lights they were hanging on lit them up enough. I thought it was still very pretty.

This tiki hut was designed by me, and built by Jeff, with help from my Daddy, and Kane. I bought the "Lei Lady" at a party store in Kokomo. These were some of my favorite things at the party. Picture taken by Alethea.

This is one of my dogs, Shia. She is a Puggle (1/2 pug, 1/2 beagle) She was wearing a grass skirt, and a lei. She was just TOO cute! Rogan was running around with a blue lei on. I didn't want anyone to think he was a girl. Picture taken by Alethea.

I hope you enjoyed SOME of the pictures from our Luau. It's the first luau I've ever hosted, and I'm very happy with the turn out.

Finally a Vacation!

I have been working so much, and hardly ever using any vacation time, and so now I have about 77 hours of vacation time available to me. My bff is coming from Seattle to visit, and I'm taking 5 days off, then the office gave me a "day off" right after those days. I'm super lucky! I am so happy to be just a few days away from hanging out with my bff. We are having our 3rd annual bbq this Saturday, Luau themed. I'm sure I'll be posting some pics of that! We (I) have gone nuts getting all the decor for the party. The last two bbq's we've done have had no decorations, but this, being a luau, just HAS to have as much as possible! I designed a "tiki hut" and Jeff built it. It is BEAUTIFUL! It is just how I wanted it. Then, i added cloth top, grass skirt, grass fringe on the top, and lights all over it. When the dollar stores started coming out with their summer stuff, I was in heaven. I got several lanterns, and lights. Just after Christmas, I got tons of Christmas lights on sale... 75% off. It was amazing! When she gets here, we are going to stay up late talking, painting nails, and just enjoy the time we get to spend together. I am so lucky to have the amazing friends in my life, and our relationship is one of the best I have ever had. We live worlds apart, but talk 1-3 times a day. Thank goodness for free mobile to mobile calls, and facebook! So, the few days we'll spend in each others company will be some of the best days of this year so far. Don't get me wrong, I love all my friends! I am so lucky to have them all, but when I get to see them on a weekly basis, I seem to not appreciate it as much. I have some amazing people in my life, and this weekend, most of them will be at my house! I can't wait to start taking pictures, then I'll share them with you!!!

TTC update...
I took the O tests, but they were all negative. I haven't even taken a prego test, because I don't think I am, I don't want to waste the money on the test, and I don't want to be broken hearted again. I haven't called the Dr. and tell him all this stuff either. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders when I have to take these stupid meds. If God wants me to get prego, he'll do it himself, and I won't need meds. I just wanna quit. Seriously. I didn't even tell Jeff that I haven't taken a prego test, or called the Dr, or any of that, but... he hasn't asked either. I finally did tell him when someone asked about it, and he was standing right next to me. I hate how it is all up to me. I feel like I can't just give up or quit, because I have family who wants us to have kids so badly, then they make me feel bad for wanting to give up. I'm sorry. I don't have the money to skip all these first steps and go straight for IVF, and all that crazy stuff. I just might be one of those women who never do have children... or maybe not. Who knows? Only God knows. I (sometimes) feel like I am not a real woman because I can't get pregnant. I feel like I am letting my husband down, and all of our family down. I just wish sometimes I can just settle with having dogs as kids. It's working for me right now... :) I pray with all my heart to take the desire for children away. Then it wouldn't hurt so bad. Seriously, this Fertility crap is getting on my last nerves. I didn't ask for this, but no one ever does. I didn't ask to be overweight either. But I think that somehow is linked to my fertility issues.

That was just going to be a TTC update, but turned into a rant. I'm sorry..... but I feel a little better now.